As I start the new year and reflect on how the Lord has held me up through hard times, healed me in areas I never thought could be healed and revealed his true Glory and Grace in a multitude of ways. I am filled with awe and gratitude. 

The last four weeks of the year were hard, there were some health issues as well as almost losing my oldest daughter to a heart attack, and of course just the holiday season in general as an empty nester. The weight of these trials and grief have been suffocating. It has left me feeling my way around life, going through the motions utterly exhausted.

As I have talked about in prior posts, all these events in our life are tender points, points that the enemy can latch onto and use to keep us off center, taking our focus off of our relationship with Jesus and focusing on the events going on around or to us. 

I know for me, when I am in the thick of it, it is hard to remember that the enemy can use what is going on to his benefit. We can battle this spiritual warfare through faith and prayer, lots and lots of prayer. 

The day my son in law messaged me that he had taken my daughter to the hospital, and they thought it was her heart, was a call I never imagined receiving. I live on the opposite side of the country from my daughter and my initial instinct was to find a flight and get out there. Instead, the Lord slowed my thoughts, placed calmness and peace in me and thanks to modern technology, I was able to be on a video call with her most of the day. I was able to be part of the conversations with the doctors and be there with her when test results were delivered. When she went in for her procedure, which should have been less than an hour, but turned out to be almost three hours, I knew that there was more going on than just something simple that was causing her symptoms.
During the time when she was in her procedure I turned to Jesus praying and reading scripture, sharing scripture with my son in law and praying some more. I remember praying for the surgeon and for my son in law, that the Lord could have a calming, loving hand on him. I prayed that the urge to panic would be removed, I stated out loud the traits of our Lord and rebuked any feelings I was having that were not the Lord’s traits. I also knew I needed to hand my daughter off to Jesus, to trust that he had her best interest at heart, and to honor his will in this situation. That was a hard prayer, but I put 100% of my trust in the Lord to cover my daughter, my son in law, my other children and myself no matter what the outcome would be. The peace that came upon me after handing her over to the Lord was palatable. I felt like I could breath and think for the first time since receiving that first call. 

Once her procedure was over, and the doctor had spoken with my son in law, he called to let me know that not only did she have a 90% blockage but she also had a tear in her coronary artery, and the blood clot from the tear is what caused the blockage. They repaired the tear and opened her artery with stents but within the first 24 hours she developed swelling of the lining around her heart. The doctors were able to treat that, and by the true grace and love of our Lord Jesus she was able to leave the hospital and go home four days later. 

Having some time to start to process all that has happened, I am able to take a step back and see the Lord’s hand at work through all of these trials and grief. Jesus had his hand on my daughter, while spontaneous coronary artery dissection is rare and on its own has a good outcome. The blockage, because of where it was located, could have been catastrophic. The fact that even though she was not seen until 3 days after her initial symptoms occurred, the Lord covered her and cared for her. He gave peace to the family as we all prayed and leaned into him for support and comfort. Her recovery has been progressing and she was able to be baptised into Christ’s church just two weeks after coming home from the hospital. What an absolute blessing from the Lord, It is truly God’s grace and only his grace, there is no other explanation. 

Going through and experiencing these trials I have been sinking into the word. So many verses have brought me comfort, guided me in my faith, and allowed me to draw closer to the Lord. They reminded me that all I needed was faith to trust him and to hand over all things to him. Knowing that the God of our universe will always be there to comfort and care for us is all we need to get through anything. 

Here are just a few of the verses that brought me comfort:

Isaiah 58:8-9 NIV

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear: then your righteousness will go out before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer: you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. 

John 14:13-14 NIV

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. 

Exodus 14:13-14 NIV

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I pray that your faith and trust in our loving God covers you in all things. That you would continually lean into him and hand all things over to him.